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PARKLAND LIFE- MAY 09- MAMAS’ BOY
I’ll say it without shame. I am a Mama’s Boy. And if you don’t like that or wish to make fun of me, I’ll find someone to punch you in the nose.
Men are categorized many ways. There’s the Alpha Male. The Metrosexual Man. I have my own exclusive category- That Humpty Dumpty Dude. I have spent my life building magnificent walls only to climb to the top and fall off, just as I am beginning to enjoy the view.
Moms have always been there to help me reassemble the pieces, so I could dust off and rebuild. Each time I am told “don’t do that again!” but I have inevitably lived the Shampoo Life- rinse and repeat.
Meet the “A” team. “The Original”, C arol. I have written extensively here about the woman who brought me into this world. Here is life. When you’re a kid, you worry about the day you might lose your mom and then one day you look at the calendar and realize she’s been gone almost 20 years. Heed my advice whippersnappers! If your Mom is still around, don’t miss a moment with her. Mothers never give up their job and my original was no exception. In the 80s, I’d fly her down to spend a week with me at my magnificent bayside bachelor pad. Her idea of fun was to clean the place while I was on the air, and have a nice dinner on the table at night. When I could get her to a nice restaurant, I’d take her to a place where the ladies menu did not display prices because this made her temporarily insane. Unable to order the cheapest thing (at Joe’s Stone Crabs?) she’d guess, or allow me to suggest something. I think the meal she enjoyed the most was at a South Beach I-Hop in her last healthy year. We’d decided to stop there after I took her by the hotel she and Dad honeymooned at in 1947. I am so glad we did that back-in-time rewind.
“Mama Groove”, Estelle. She is the mother of my first serious girl friend and eventual first wife, Gloria. I called her recently to wish her a happy 40th Anniversary from the day I met her, and husband Roman. What does that tell you about this incredibly good hearted gal? I was 16 when I met “The Groovers”- a term of endearment applied to her and husband Roman Dluski- and the whole fam damily. I was the kind of teenage boy any parent would be delighted/relieved to have their daughter dating. I did not turn idiot until my 20s, when I put Gloria and the Dluskis through great angst while deeply immersed in the self indulgency that building my media career demanded. Mama Groove, never gave up, even after Gloria gave me the boot. She remembered the 16 year old with big dreams, who loved their big Polish family and especially her cooking and card playing skills. She never judged me and only hoped I would get my act together. She and Roman have always welcomed my calls. Lesser people would have righteously held me in contempt without forgiveness but that is not The Dluski way. Her voice sounds just like it did 40 years ago and her laugh is still quick as she inches towards 90. God bless them always.
“Mother Mary”, “Ma”. Until just recently, Mary served double duty- to me, and my son “Zeus”. She and her daughter Cathy owned the duplex next door to my Cooper City house and we became good, old-fashioned “let’s have some coffee together” type neighbors. The centers of attention were my little Yorkies, Buttons and Zeus. A retired nurse, Mary was an early riser. I was working at LITE FM in those days, and Mary would frequently be outside as I walked the doggies before departing for work. Buttons fell in love instantly, and when she spotted Mary’s 5 foot figure in the pre-dawn shadows, she bolt to her with Road Runner worthy speed, with Zeus scampering behind.
Mary just loved to do for me, refusing money, just happy to help. Soon she became “Ma”, and Ma lived for Christmas. She wasn’t rich but spent the entire year preparing for the next Christmas after providing the most recent one for needy families in her beloved St. Benedict’s Catholic Church in Miramar. When she wasn’t rustling up gifts, she was maintaining a brutal choir schedule- always busy. In the photo accompanying this story, you see my standing happily next to her with my super sized stocking from this past Christmas. Mary’s knack for knowing exactly what I needed amazed me, and she got such a kick watching me pull out one item after another.
When I moved to Montgomery, at that point a very uncertain venture- I asked her to keep Zeus (Buttons had passed by then). When I came back 10 days later I made a tough decision. Zeus was so happy with Mary’s doting ways; there was no way I could take him back. Thus, I spend more time at Mary’s house on trips back, going for walks with Zeus or watching TV. Her little living room was my chill zone.
This past Valentine’s Day, I went to the mailbox and removed a card addressed in Mary’s easily recognized handwriting. The card, (for me and Hershey) unfolded into a cardboard bouquet of roses- and it made me smile. A week later Kathy called to tell me Ma woke up with trouble breathing and my heart went numb. At 74, Ma was gone. She was so pleased with life I’d built in Alabama she’d often told me not to come rushing back “if anything happened”. The time I’d spent with her was what mattered most. I was deeply depressed after this abrupt smackdown from God. My Florida homecomings and holidays will not be the same and the cardboard bouquet of roses remains open on my coffee table until I am ready to tuck it away with all the warm memories of Mother Mary.
Zeus is now happily enjoying life with Cathy in the same house, but I still get tears thinking about him wandering her little living room wondering why she wasn’t there.
“Mom and Dad”- Carolyn and Tom Woodling. These 2 are the Matriarch and Patriarch of my Montgomery family. They needed a 5th son like a hole in the head but that is how things have worked out since the day I mentioned the need for a personal physician during my talk show. Like any good mother would, Carolyn called and suggested I see her son Dennis, and he has played a key role in helping achieve the best health of my life! They have taught me what I call “The Woodling Way”.
Like Mary, they are not wealthy but are beyond generous to all they know. Even our dogs (Hershey and Zorro the Wiener Dog) have become best pals. When these 2 black hairballs get to playing, you can’t tell where one dog begins and the other ends. The entire Woodling family has given me back things life had taken away- Sunday family dinners and weekday coffee klatches. Mom jokes that I am her “late in life baby”, as she would have delivered me in her 50s, given our respective ages.
Late on a recent Saturday night, I received word that I’d won the Alabama Broadcasters Association for Best Morning Show (statewide). Mom and Dad got the first call, and I talk to them every day without fail. I have truly enjoyed this embarrassment of riches when it comes to Motherly Love. All of the women in this edition of Male Call helped me get to where I am today- on top of another big wall.
I plan to honor them all by remaining here, enjoying the view of a very lucky man.  Mary, Christmas of '08 |
